Torah Thoughts on Parshas Vayigash by Rabbi Naphtali Lavenda
"וַיִגַשׁ אֵלָיו יְהוּדָה וַיֹאמֶר בִּי אֲדֹנִי יְדַבֶּר נָא עַבְדְךָ דָבָר בְּאָזְנֵי אֲדֹנִי וְאַל יִחַר אַפְּךָ בְּעַבְדֶךָ כִּי כָמוֹךָ כְּפַרְעֹה" בְּרֵאשִׁית מ''ד:י''ח
“Then Yehuda approached him and said: ‘If you please, my lord, may your servant speak a word in my lord’s ears and may your anger not flare up at your servant, for you are like Pharaoh.’ ” Bereshis 44:18
In 2018, a study from the University of Sydney was shared in the Royal Society Open Science Journal on how often people say "Thank You”. The researchers studied over 1000 conversations and interactions recorded by cameras and microphones in the participants’ homes or places of gathering. The study traversed eight different languages. They noted that while 88% of people responded immediately to requests for assistance, implying they were willing to help, on average only 5% of those helped said a "Thank You” in response!
Parashas Vayigash begins with Yehuda confronting Yosef in an effort to protect Binyamin and secure his release – "וַיִגַשׁ אֵלָיו יְהוּדָה". Literally, this means “And Yehuda turned towards him (referring to Yosef).” However, the Sfas Emes (תרל"א) homiletically reads the verse differently. When it says "וַיִגַשׁ אֵלָיו" – “And he turned towards him”, it can also be referring to Him with a capital H, Hashem. And when it says Yehuda, it can also be referring to הוֹדָאָה, to giving thanks. In other words, Yehuda turned towards Him, to Hashem, and thanked Him! Because, no matter whether it’s something small or significant, good or not so good, everything that happens, everything that we receive in life, is all from Hashem. Therefore, even though the situation seemed dire, before Yehuda began the debate of his life, he first wanted to say: "Thank You, Hashem. I don’t know why this is happening, but הַכָּל לְטוֹבָה, and thank You!” Only then, after thanking Hashem, does he begin speaking with Yosef: "וַיֹאמֶר בִּי אֲדֹנִי" – “And he said: ‘If you please, my lord’ ”.
We, too, may encounter challenges at some point in our lives. David HaMelech wrote many chapters of Tehillim, which help us formulate our expressions and prayers in trying times. However, he also wrote many chapters that are expressions of joy and gratitude to Hashem. We may complain when something goes wrong, but we should thank Hashem not only when something succeeds, but also in routine situations. Perhaps we can start by training ourselves to say “Thank You” to those around us who help even in small ways, be it holding a door, pouring a drink or even doing carpool.
Since I neglected doing it while in high school, let me take this opportunity to thank the Yeshiva – the Rabbeim, teachers, friends, kitchen staff and everyone else in between – for four fantastic (and tasty!) years that have provided so many of us a solid foundation for life as Torah Jews these past 100 years.
Rabbi Naphtali Lavenda, M.B.A., graduated from FYHS in 1999 and spent kayitz zman in the HTC Beis Midrash in 2001. He is Director of Online Rabbinic Programming at Yeshiva University’s Rabbi Isaac Elchanan Theological Seminary (RIETS). He has been working in Jewish non-profit for almost 20 years, first at the Orthodox Union and currently at YU. Rabbi Lavenda spent a number of years in New York until he made Aliyah in 2009. He currently lives in Yad Binyamin, Israel with his family.
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